I know i’ve fucked up before, i know i’ve made mistakes. But so have you, none of us are perfect.! If you haven’t realized i’m not who i use to be. I took that as a lesson. Wth do you want now.?! Nobody judges you for all the crap you’ve done…look at you, you haven’t done ANYTHING with your life, you’re still living at home & have nothing to show for it…NOTHING.! So why do you feel the need to pick at my every flaw & the flaws of the people around me other than you.?! I’m pretty sure i’m the one trying to make something out of myself. You frustrate the living hell out of me & i can’t wait to live across the whole state of kansas away from you.!
I really wish i could hug my best friend right now. & the fact that she is half way across the country makes me just wanna bawl my eyes out. There is sooo much going on & i just don’t know if i can handle it anymore & keeping it all bottled up is killing me because i honestly have no one here that i truly trust, the way i trust that girl. Yeah phone calls & skype are helpful but theres nothing like a hug to tell me everything is gunna be okay. :/
Wow this is perfect.
Exactly what I was thinking.
I honestly think that i won’t go back to Jersey. I love it there, trust me i do. But it just brings back a lot of memories i probably don’t need. I want to keep the people that i’m still close to from there in my life. I just think…all the money i use to get over there and use while i’m there, i could use to go somewhere else…discover new things, new people, new ways.
I haven’t said this to anyone, because i don’t believe in it. I can’t talk to anybody about it because nobody will understand, because its such a long story behind it that by the time i got to me, it wouldn’t mean anything to anybody. Depression. I don’t believe in it because to me its all in your head, something that doesn’t need pills or any type of medication to get rid off. But after everything, i don’t know what i believe anymore. I don’t want to tell anybody that i might be going through it, because everyone around me seems to have bigger problems. So i’ll just sit here, and watch the world go by, and hope that everything gets better…right?
I just needed you to be here. I needed you and you weren’t there.