So i’m total sitting here on tumblr instead of doing homework. I feel like I have no motivation to do homework right now. Like its ridiculous. I want to go home for the weekend but I have no car to take me on a 5 hour drive. Its barely about to be a week since I moved into my dorm and i’m feeling completely homesick. I know that’s completely normal but I feel like I made the wrong choice moving so far away from family to be honest. I thought it would be the right choice. but now that I think about it, I should have started with smaller steps, maybe to a city 3 hours away instead of 5-6 hours away. Especially when I’m car-less. :( If I wanted to make a drastic move like this, I should have a least gone back to new york. Gahhh, not to mention my roommate is a little quiet and super shy person, oh and the fact that she hasn’t even been here for the past couple days. Try to make friends but I feel like everyone already has their own little group going on. You see I thought people in dodge were messed up, but apparently, its all over Kansas. Maybe its just me. Maybe its not. Just wish I knew at least one person in this town now that I think of it. Shit just got real. :/
I know i’ve fucked up before, i know i’ve made mistakes. But so have you, none of us are perfect.! If you haven’t realized i’m not who i use to be. I took that as a lesson. Wth do you want now.?! Nobody judges you for all the crap you’ve done…look at you, you haven’t done ANYTHING with your life, you’re still living at home & have nothing to show for it…NOTHING.! So why do you feel the need to pick at my every flaw & the flaws of the people around me other than you.?! I’m pretty sure i’m the one trying to make something out of myself. You frustrate the living hell out of me & i can’t wait to live across the whole state of kansas away from you.!
I really wish i could hug my best friend right now. & the fact that she is half way across the country makes me just wanna bawl my eyes out. There is sooo much going on & i just don’t know if i can handle it anymore & keeping it all bottled up is killing me because i honestly have no one here that i truly trust, the way i trust that girl. Yeah phone calls & skype are helpful but theres nothing like a hug to tell me everything is gunna be okay. :/